living my dreams

Since the day I may join my beloved is nowhere in sight,

Slowly, slowly I turn away from this love.

'Impossible!' my heart cries out, 'impossible!'

It shakes its head and smirks at my sad plight.

#640: From Rumi's Kolliyaat-e Shams-e Tabrizi

Search word: now

I've started the day with the question: where to now? and I've imagined what I'd do if I suddenly acquired a million dollars together with a one thousand dollar a week income. This is like imagining how things would be if they were perfect as when imagining being with one's beloved. When one's dream seems so very far away, one tends to give up on it or turn away. Reality, cynicism, a kind of humility, these set in and say: no, get real, you've not got what it takes, you're a loser after all.

This verse of Rumi's is comforting for it suggests that the project of giving up on one's dreams is impossible. It is doomed to failure from the start. There is no need, then, to energetically fight the inner cynic for he has failed from the outset. I need just attend to the things of today and let my dreams live on. They may forever remain dreams but they do nevertheless define me and they will live so long as I myself stay alive. I live my dreams in the way I live my days. It would help to put words or images to them: that is the first step to concrete realization. However, it is not essential. Even my cat lives her dreams and she needs no writing tools for that.