Saturday, November 05, 2005

doctor's orders

This burning in my chest comes of following her sect.

From her I caught the fever, now I'm sick.

I'll follow doctor's orders, in all respects but this:

I won't forego my wine or her sweet lips.

#208: From Rumi's Kolliyaat-e Shams-e Tabrizi

As I continue to nurse my lower back pain, I've wondered why I often feel so desperate regarding my health. A good part of the reason is because I just don't trust doctors. I don't have a doctor I know well and whose advice I'd take. I feel here that I'm listening to a kindred soul in Rumi. Bear with pain and distress but don't give up your dreams.

A doctor would tell me to be sensible, to take a prescribed pill, sedate any over-excitement, kick start sagging endorphins with the latest anti-depressant, manipulate the body and soul into conformity. Stop being the weird wayout wacko that I am.

I'm not being wacko enough. That's my problem.


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