doors and other d-words

You opened my heart's door, sat down inside.

Who else is there but you that I should seek?

When my love cries out, they turn away.

Don't shut me out. Beyond you there's no way.

#1726: From Rumi's Kolliyaat-e Shams-e Tabrizi

Key word: door

I woke this morning in a mood of doubt and despair. I'm still in the process of reading, on and off, the Viorst book, soaking up the politics behind Islam's development of the Shari'a, that rigid code of law that combines with the core beliefs in the Quran's divinity and Mohammad's unique status as divine messenger to create the fortress of faith that is Islam. It creates a vision of a walled-in male-dominated community with no windows or doors to the outside world, much like the heavily veiled women with only a slit for their eyes and no welcoming smile for a stranger. In an attempt to humanize Islam, I've come up with a neat 4Ds formula:

There is no theology in Islam,
Only: There is no god but God.
It deified determination.
It demonized doubt.

Unflinching determination is what produces champions, in whatever arena. Every worthy leader has been strong and decisive but tyrannical and despotic too. That's the down side. Doubt, despair, dissension, these pile up like a putrefying pus beneath the arrogant certainties of single-minded purpose. There needs to be a determination to allow at least a periodic release of the questioning spirit, that much at least.

I can see these themes being played out inside today's quatrain. Rumi has opened the door but now he has room for no others as "they" turn away. The shutting out seems to shift subtly from a plural, perhaps polytheistic, company to the single company of the beloved. Doubt and despair hover in the air. I find this an unsettling verse, as if it is poised on the edge of commitment and confusion, right at the very doorway between inside and out. Are you with me or against me? Will you take me in as beloved or shut the door on me? Am I a fool to believe in you? Am I wrong to plead for your loyalty?

I'm left suspended in irresolution but yes, I'll accept to sit there for a while.