being rude

Oh flowing tears, speak to my growing love:

Of that garden, that spring, and all that I've seen.

One night, when you remember those nights,

Please don't remember how rude I have been.

#17: From Rumi's Kolliyaat-e Shams-e Tabrizi

I searched through doubt, despair, betray, deceive, tears. I feel exhausted of words today. I need to meditate on being rude. Being rude is something that I'm good at, something that has left me friendless and alone.